Thursday, October 8, 2015
Inman.G.Blogpost#2
The drive there is long and the road is windy and slippery in the winter. As you get closer the trees, animals, and beauty of nature take away all your worries of the busy world that evolves around us. There is a calm feeling of peace and serenity. You can smell the evergreens and taste the fresh air. The snow gets deeper and deeper. Once your there its like you're a kid again. So much room for activities... You can just sit in one spot for hours and watch deer and birds carry on their way, go hike on trails and enjoy the scenery, and play in the snow. In the summer time there is beautiful flowers blooming everywhere. Tons of wildlife scurrying all around. You can see for miles and miles of nothing but wilderness. This is the place i feel most at home. Most at peace within myself. I love coming here,
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Good description, but how might you incoporate more show vs. tell type details? How might you engage the reader with specific imagery using our five senses to describe and really engage us in the atmosphere you're discussing? Try to expand your word choice via descriptions, using strong adjectives to describe the place. What does "fresh air" taste like? How are we "like a kid again" in this place? Food for thought.
ReplyDeleteThis sounds like a place that I would visit. I love to go to places that make me feel like a kid again. I also enjoy not having to worry about everyday things that we have to do. I do think that a little for show details about the place would help the reader feel like they are there.
ReplyDeleteNice job on the blog Gary. You set the reader up for some great show vs tell details in your post. Nature almost makes it easy to create these details. What colors are created by the wilderness? Describe the feeling of sitting still for a long period of time and listening to nature. What is it that you hear? These kind of questions helped me with my writing assignment. I think that it can be very hard to show vs tell when many times it would be so much easier to put the reader in that place instead of describe it!
ReplyDeleteThis was very nicely written. I liked your use of descriptive terms, and I could visualize what you were talking about. The words brought me back to when I was a kid and that wasn't too long ago. Nice job
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